I am going to China.
I will walk across the Luhu Bridge spanning the Sham Chun River between Hong Kong and China.
After having been in China for a while, I will walk across the Luhu Bridge spanning the Sham Chun River between China and Hong Kong.
Consider other possible permutations.
I have never been to China.
I have always wanted to go to China. Always.
Will this trip appease a longing?
Archaeology of longings.
But it's my whole life!
Don't panic, "Confession is nothing, knowledge is everything." That's a quote but I'm not going to tell who said it.
Confession is me, knowledge is everybody.
Archaeology of conceptions.
Am I permitted a pun?
The conception, of this trip is very old.
First conceived when? As far back as I can remember.
--Investigate possibility that I was conceived in China though born in New York and brought up elsewhere (America).Prenatal relation to China: certain foods, perhaps. But I don't remember M. saying she actually liked Chinese food.
--Didn't she say that at the general's banquet she spit the whole of the hundred-year-old egg into her napkin?
Something filtering through the bloody membranes, anyway.
Myrna Loy China, Turandot China. Beautiful, millionaire Soong sisters from Wellesley and Wesleyan & their husbands. A landscape of jade, teak, bamboo, fried dog.
Missionaries, foreign military advisers. Fur traders in the Gobi Desert, among them my young father.
Chinese forms placed about the first living room I remember (we moved away when I was six): plump ivory and rose-quartz elephants on parade, narrow rice-paper scrolls of black calligraphy in gilded wood frames, Buddha the Glutton immobilized under an ample lampshade of taut pink silk. Compassionate Buddha, slim, in white porcelain.
--Historians of Chinese art distinguish between porcelain and proto-porcelain.Colonialists collect.
Trophies brought back, left behind in homage to the other living room, in the real Chinese house, the one I never saw. Unrepresentative, opaque objects. In dubious taste (but I only know that now). Confusing solicitations. The birthday gift of a bracelet made of five small tubular lengths of green jade, each tiny end capped in gold, which I never wore.
--Colors of jade:
green, all sorts, notably emerald green and bluish green
One certainty: China inspired the first lie I remember telling. Entering the first grade, I told my classmates that I was born in China. I think they were impressed.
I know that I wasn't born in China.
The four causes of my wanting to go to China:
The oldest country in the world: it requires years
of arduous study to learn its language. The country of science fiction,
where everyone speaks with the same voice. Maotsetungized.